Spring is Here! How to Get Over the Fear of Making Decisions
Updated: Mar 12
Does anyone else out there struggle with making decisions and change? Or am I alone in this? It's been a constant war in my soul... I feel this yearning to do BIG, bold things! At the same time, I want to sit back and analyze and make sure the big, bold things I'm doing aren't going to be inconvenient or messy. The two just don't go together... That's why it took me two years to hit the "GO" button on this blog and DECIDE that I would do it for real.
My first thought this morning was "What on earth was I thinking yesterday?!" I mean, in the moment I decided to commit to writing a post every day for 365 days straight I was totally inspired and had all this "juice" flowing through my veins. But then things settle down and you realize that maybe the "juice" won't always be there. Then what? That's where I was this morning... "What am I going to write about today? Nothing dramatic happened yesterday!"
But maybe it did. Maybe just making a decision is a big thing. I'll be honest with you. I like to keep my options open... I'm a multiple options kind of girl. I'll look at all my options, analyze them, get feedback about them, analyze them some more, waffle back and forth about what I want to do and then maybe analyze them some more. It's exhausting. Part of that has been fear of making a "wrong" decision (aka high stakes thinking) and part of that has been a real desire on my part to do what will make God happy - not just follow my own voice or my own desires. Here's what I've been learning, though. There is no such thing as a "wrong" decision when my heart is in that place of desiring to be surrendered and follow His Voice. There just isn't. I could fly off the deep end, sell everything I have and move to Italy to learn how to make pasta for a year and it wouldn't be the "wrong thing" as long as my heart is to obey. (Ps. 37:4)
I've spent a lot of time in my life contemplating, weighing the options, overthinking everything. A lot of wasted time. It's sad, but true and I can admit it. Yesterday and today, I felt the season shift. No more sitting on the sidelines worrying about what I'm going to do and if it is the "perfect thing". There is no perfect. And honestly, if I'm playing my life so safe that things don't ever get messy and complicated then I'm not learning and I'm not growing. I'm just stuck. Even if I totally miss the mark, God honors my heart and my intention. Faith and trust in Him is grounded in the truth that He is actually big enough to clean up our messes. Of course, there is a balance to everything and the truth is held in tension. We can't launch on every whim that occurs to us, but if something has been a consistent theme in your life and you've heard the same thing over and over but you keep stalling because you don't have it all figured out maybe this post is for you. (Excuse the run-on sentence there....) That was me with telling my story. If I could tell you how many times I've been told to tell my story by God and other people... well, you get the point. It was a lot.
Yesterday, I just let the season change from stagnancy to forward motion. From Winter to Spring. I said "Yes". And I let go. Of planning. Of control. Of having to have it all figured out. And so yeah... for me, that was something dramatic. It has been said by many... "God can't move a parked car." So at least this car is moving now! We'll see where she goes... who knows?!
LET GO OF CONTROL - JUST FLOW
Control steals your energy and drains your creativity. That's when you get stuck and can't find a way out.
Follow your intuition/instinct! This is one of the biggest things acting is teaching me... if you have an instinct, go for it! It may not be the exact, perfect thing for whatever situation you're facing, but you'll never get past it and find the right answer for you until you just let go and express it. See where it leads.
Be willing to be wrong. To say "oops" and laugh at yourself. To trust that you are LOVED no matter what and walk in that confidence (which is actually true humility). Be like a child learning to walk. They know they aren't going to get it on the first try and so do their parents... Just keep remembering to be like a child and you'll be golden.
PRACTICAL APPLICATION TIP: The tricky part can be finding where you are controlling and where you are just practicing wisdom. Here's my hint... look for places where it actually requires more energy NOT to do what your gut is telling you to do. For instance, after I hit the "publish" button yesterday, my brain was so clear and focused and I got a ton of stuff done! Because I stopped resisting. Resistance is super draining. Look for those places. Just pay attention... you'll find them. And hey - I'm learning this as I go, so we can learn together!
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Until tomorrow... ;)